A Fall in the Train

By Jonathan, Year 5

Written as part of Factory Feedback

The train carriage was large as a 5 star hotel room and electric train tracks rumbled like huge thunder as the train sped off at lightning speed. The stench of the train resembled rotting flesh and the passengers were furious and angry when Gerald and Harry were swinging on the handrails. Gerald could hear the howling wind and the roars of the dusty wind. There were green trees in the distance waving in the howling dusty wind. 

Suddenly, Gerald lost his grip and he landed on the filthy and dirty floor with a loud , noisy thud . Harry was shocked and depressed and he couldn’t prevent his friend from falling. Gerald bursted into tears. Harry stopped frolicking and rushed to comfort his buddy. In between sobs, Gerald revealed that he had hurt his back and head. His butter sticky fingers failed him causing him to launch from the handrail. Gerald’s head hit the filthy floor first then his back hit the wooden floor. He slammed his head into the transparent windows and later Gerald told Harry that he had very deep sharp pain through his spine. Harry couldn’t believe that his friend Gerald was injured on the train. Harry sobs as Gerald laid on the floor silently.

There was a crowd of people surrounding Gerald’s body because he had a back accident. Harry called triple zero to call the police so that Gerald could stay in the hospital. The crowd gasped “Oh no there is blood around that particular person near the blood”. “He didn’t die but he is still alive “. The hospital paramedics rushed Gerald so he could a night or two at the hospital. His friendship with Gerald could only last longer if Gerald wouldn’t swing on the hand rails.

Factory Feedback was created with, and generously supported by, the Dusseldorp Forum.

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