I Am

By Breanna

I am, the bunk bed in our room

I am, vanilla essence whilst cooking

I am, LED lights in my room fluorescently, shining

I am, quite

I am, soft, silky clothes

I am, bubbly, inviting, caring

Drawing, it was a state of peace for me: expressing my thoughts in an abstract, colourful way until I had an image turned into reality. A true depiction of my every wonder and thought. Whatever came to mind- I drew flowers, people, animals but my favourite thing of all was sunsets. Vibrant shades of purples, blue, pinks, oranges. No two drawings were ever the same, I believe they each represented my individuality. Dark shadows of powerlines, flying birds, rooftops. At times, I struggle to my thoughts into words but ultimately can express my thoughts as colours. Pinks remind me of cotton candy and innocence. Reds always resemble romance and forgiveness, purples resemble my thoughts of meaning and care for others. Expressing my every thought in a creative form that makes me happy. Taking my time to focus and find traquility.

Lockdown triggered this creativity and led me to taking some time each day to find my mind on what had happened that day and anything that  I had begun pondering. Sitting on my bed, at my desk, outside on my trampoline, really anywhere. With my art book, black inky pen and coloured markers. Sometimes in the bright light, other times in the dim light.

Someone you were in the past

Some of the most important things to me are: my family, having BBQs/events with my extended family, food, my cat, and my friends. I believe that I will never change being an animal lover, someone who is kind regardless of the situation, someone who is sensitive/emotional. Since a young age, I had wanted to be a vet, so I love animals especially cats. Many people see me as a very positive person who is always kind and honest, and someone who is kind of sensitive and isn’t afraid to show emotions.

Something that you value in the present

I was someone who would sit in her room, outside, on the train, in the car and would draw all the time. I found that these locations, especially in my room allowed me to have a space of my own to focus on my thoughts and put them down onto the page in a form that made me happy. I would have music softly playing and would sit at my desk or on my bed, with my drawing book and my black, inky pen. Sometimes I would have the light on brightly other times it would be quite dim in my room. I would draw almost anything and sometimes it would be made-up by me. In the moment I would feel happy, sad, anxious, excited… My mood changed depending on what I would think about and how that day was. Whilst drawing, I valued the ability to just take time and focus on my thoughts and where I was at that very moment. I didn’t value when sometimes I would just have a blank and not be able to have any creative thoughts.

Something that will never change

I now currently value having my own room. For the past 15 years of my life I had always shared a room with my sister, at times it was fun and nice to have someone else to talk to but then again, other times wouldn’t be the best. I have had my own room since about March and ever since then I have realised how grateful I am to have a space of my own. This is important to me as I can finally do my work in peace, have privacy within myself and just having a room that is personally just for me. The thing that I most valued about having my own room was the privacy and peace that I have. The quiet space is so refreshing and has granted me tranquility. I especially like my bed and the blanket that I have on it. There is a fluffy pink blanket that is very warm and big. It always makes me feel happy.