I Am

By Jess

“I am fidgeting. I pull my phone out of my pocket, click it open and then close it again.”

I emotionally feel connected to this quote because of how I just randomly pull out my phone, click the power button hoping to see messages from specific people – but in the end I’m left with false hope, no texts, nothing. and because of this I put high expectations upon myself, making my anxiety build up, also causing me to get annoyed from thinking specific people are ignoring me on purpose. Ending up with me making assumptions about them ruining the conversation entirely and I just end up being nervous and sensing the idea of feeling unwanted. 

These feelings to me are like a stress ball. First you squeeze it…it feels nice and relaxing but then you become more intrigued by the climax of how far it can be squeezed, you squeeze it continuously. Then, POP! It finally explodes leaving you with this mess you weren’t able to control.

…

One thing I value is the different types of music people create. I started listening to different types of genres with my brother, he introduced the genres to me. Music to me is something I can relax to.