Young Breezy by Francis

By Francis, Year 10

Written as part of Factory Feedback

Early morning, the sky was shining, I found a key made of gold on my room door. It had an attractive part that was shaped like a “K”. I shoved the key in my door to check if it would fit and it pulled me inside and the door closed behind me. 

I saw a light in the darkness and walked close to it and saw a man and asked him “Who are you and where do you come from?” “Jacob,” the men said happily. I asked him “How do you know my name?” and he introduced himself and said his name was “Mike.” He offered me a drink and told me to “Relax.” he acted calm and gentle like he’d seen me before and said “It’s me, your friend, Mike. Please sit down.” He looked so innocent in a grey shirt, big boots, and a rusty cowboy hat. “You have to do a job for me”, he continued. “I am not going to hurt you”. I sat down and started listening to Mike and placed the key on a table on my right. He saw it and said “That is a nice key you’ve got there, you know, that key takes you to a place you desire.” I asked myself, “Is this a dream?” I was shocked and filled with disbelief and sneaked out of his house when he went to the kitchen. The door creaked as I was trying to get out and I thought it might have made him aware that I was running away, so I ran out as fast as I could, like I was being chased by a dog. I got out of range from Mike and began to think I was safe, but it turns out I didn’t know where I was going, where I was, and what this place is. All I could see was a bar that was torn down, blue and had a bit of brown on the sides, and was probably abandoned. 

I started walking towards the bar and I heard someone shouting my name, but it sounded more faded than usual. “Jacob, Jacob”, the voice called, as I turn around to check if anyone was behind me. Not seeing anyone, and I continued walking towards the bar. It felt like I had been walking for days in this hot sun, it almost felt like I was in a desert, I felt dehydrated and could not feel my legs, but I knew I had to keep going for any hope of help. I saw a car coming towards me and I put out my hand and made a thumbs down sign for a lift. I remember my dad telling me to do that if I was stranded somewhere, who knew this would happen. The stranger stopped for me, I got in his truck, and I noticed that the exhaust pipe was making a weird “POP” noise. He asked me “What are you doing in a place like this?” I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t because I was so thirsty. He noticed and gave me a bottle of water. I said to him “Thanks, I was hoping someone could come and help me, I am going to the bar on the side of the road to try and get information on where I am”.  

He said “You know there haven’t been many people like you here before.” 

I didn’t know exactly what he was talking about and said “Huh” with a puzzled face. 

“This town has always been quiet and had not to type of activity or kids like you” 

I touched my left arm. It felt rough and had inconspicuous bumps on it and the first thing that came to mind was goosebumps. 

“Bye, have a good day,” the man said while taking a short breath. 

I told myself “I never even asked him for his name.”  

I headed to the bar and came across a door that looked old and had some termites coming from it. As I opened the door, I took one step in and felt a spiderweb on my face and sand on my head. I take a look around the bar and see spiderwebs everywhere. The floor looks like there sand everywhere but it’s a bit of dust and it smelt like alcohol and soil. A chair was in front of the front desk, a wet cup filled with water, and as wet as it is the person the owner of the bar who poured the water must still be around. There was a key next to the cup of water, the same key that looked like the key I was holding in Mike’s house, I checked my pocket to see if the key was in there and it wasn’t I was frightened and stood still to wait for the owner of the bar and started getting scared because I heard footsteps getting closer and closer by every step, I move my head closer to where the noise was coming from and saw a man with a knife I got scared and ran outside of the bar with the key that was on the table, I got further away from the bar and the owner came out and shouted “Why are you running?” and he started to mumble some words but I couldn’t hear them because I wasn’t close enough to be able to hear him.

Suddenly, I turn around to check how far I was from the bar and it turns out I can hardly see it. It was getting dark, from the looks of it it seemed like it was approximately 4:00 pm, as I continue to walk I see a dark shadow I wonder what it is and walk towards it and there it is, a car, the same car the old man drove me in. I wondered where he was and saw an axe in the back of the car and I asked myself “Is he a hunter?” I look down at my foot to think more about this situation and what to do, and there’s a pathway right next to me, I started walking to try and find the old man. The pathway was filled with dirt, potholes everywhere and I saw a dead squirrel back when I started. I don’t know where I’m going, I start to walk faster and faster and “Bang” I heard a noise from the left of me I take a peek and there he was. It looks like he is kneeling and cutting something and there was a gun next to him. “Hey,” I shouted with fear. He turned and looked at me with relief but he also looked puzzled. He looked tired and stressed out, it seemed like he’d been doing this hunting stuff for more than I know of. He spoke loudly to me with a deep voice and asked: “What are you doing here?” I told him I had seen his car outside and wondered where he was and followed the path to look for him. He took a deep breath and said “What a relief”. We got into his car and went to his house where he treated me to some food and water. I was filled with joy and thanked him for giving me food and for providing me with a place to stay, he looked at me, sighed, and said, “I thought you were supposed to go home after going to the bar.”

I explained to him “I went to the bar and saw the bar owner with a knife and a key I brought from home suddenly at the desk, I got too scared and left”.

“Bull, that bar owner wouldn’t hurt a fly, the last time I was there he could hardly touch a knife”.

“Well people change” I told him softly.

“You know what, tomorrow we’re going back to that bar and we’re taking you home…”

“You seem a bit angry”.

“I just don’t like it when people think of my brother as a dangerous person, when you get to know him he’s understanding and fun”.

“I didn’t know he was your brother”.

“Well it’s not your fault, get some sleep, I’ll see you in the morning”

He went to sleep and I finished my food and cleaned the table and washed the dishes. After doing all that I went to the couch in the hall and took a spare pillow and laid down. The night was cold, quiet and it felt like the wind just stopped, I couldn’t sleep and started to stare at the window, it was dark and it made me feel like I was home. I turned, fluffed my pillow, and rested my head on it. It made me feel comfortable and sleepy so I just went along with it and the next thing I knew it was morning. I opened the window and poked my head out for fresh air, but it wasn’t as fresh as it was air. I sat up and walked to the kitchen to make food, but it seemed like he had already prepared food. The food was on the table, hot and steamy like he had just made it. I went to sit down and eat and said to him with a low pitched voice “Sorry about what happened yesterday”.

He stared me down and said “It’s in the past, forget about it”.

I was relieved he wasn’t as offended as I thought. He stood up and went outside, I was wondering what he was going to do outside because we were going to try and get me back home. I finished eating and kept my plate on the table and opened the door. It creaked as I opened it and saw that he was just standing there looking up like he was thinking of something important. I left and went back to the dining table to wash the plates and let him have some time to himself. While I washed the dishes it came to mind that I never asked him for his name. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of myself, he helped me get a place to sleep and offered me food but I couldn’t even remember to ask him his name, I heard the door open and walked up to him and told him I was sorry of everything, especially for not asking him his name. He looked sad and said “Don’t worry about it, we’re human. We forget things, my name is Jack, now get ready we’re going back to the bar”. “…Ok”.

I was happy he didn’t take it as seriously as I thought, but at this point I knew something was wrong, he was sad and gloomy and I had to do something to try and repay him.

Factory Feedback was created with, and generously supported by, the Dusseldorp Forum.

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