Breaking News by Fred Bekker

Simultaneously Ukraine joined the European Union and Russia invaded it (they’re really slow to get news). The UN were forced to retaliate but as they were doing some bureaucratic requirements (if you want to declare war, please click here, if you’re sure you want to declare, please click here, etc…) Russia invaded US (again, they’re slow on news and they didn’t realise that the cold war ended 20 years ago (they were curious as to why the US never reply to their insults)), so now there is just a giant crater where 48 states used to be and Alaska recolonized by the Russians (they sold it for pennies even earlier). But by then the Russian citizens were tired of the whole thing and revolted against tsar Putin (little known fact: behind the iron curtain people are forced to heil tsar Putin a minimum of 254 times a day (they have weird laws there)) and formed their own republic; New Russian unrigged-voting-system Republic. And what used to be the Old Russian government became the Old Russian Empire where Alaska used to be, though their citizens barely noticed the change, one bit of snow and ice in one part of the world is the same as any other part snow and ice in the world.